My Modern Family Quotes

From Season 2 Ep. 11

Phil: I called the florist and order one dozen Mylar balloons. Good luck staying mad, honey!

Luke: I think we should drag him out of his car and punch him in the stomach until he barfs.

Cam [to Barry]: You are living in a little girl's toy and you have to move out!

Phil: Oh yeah, everybody loves Michael Jordan, but nobody thinks of Scottie Pippin. The only reason I remember him is because he's named after my favorite musical.

Jay [to Gloria]: There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Jay [on Gloria and Manny's lack of bike-riding skills]: Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.

Jay: Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.

Phil: Luke, I am your father. That's what I said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts.

Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?
Phil: The smartest in the world!

Cam: There's a stranger in our hot tub.
Mitchell: Who is it?
Cam: You do know what stranger means, don't you?


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