Showing posts from September, 2008

The Office Season 5.1 Quotes

Dwight: From this point forward, you will not use the bathroom. We need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more. Meredith: What should we do with all these leftovers? Stanley: I'm taking the dumplings for my wife. Dwight: No, no, no. This is your last meal. There will be no leftovers. Creed: I can bring these to my shelter. Stanley: I'm taking my dumplings. Dwight: [sprays food with bug poison] There. Take those home to your wife. Michael: Dwight, Dwight! Dwight: Michael, it's time. Andy: I'm excited to lose weight for the wedding, because I really want to have washboard abs the first time Angela sees me naked. Holly: Ex-squeeze me. Michael: I will ex-squeeze you. Michael: OK everybody. Get used to this because we are going to be standing here briefly every Monday for the next seven Mondays. Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow. Jim: [smiles, looks to Michael] Really, nothing? Da

The Return of The Office Season Five TONIGHT or "Miss Me Blind" - Culture Club

With the fifth season of The Office debuting tonight, I thought this was a good time to look back at a few of the classic quotes from some of my favorites characters. Michael: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North," and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace. Dwight: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby. Creed: I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it's possible a man slipped in. Would be no way of knowing. Dwight: Very good! You have earned one Schrute Buck. Stanley: I don't want it. Dwight: Then you have been deducted 50

Homecoming at the Grove or "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue

This past Sunday I was invited back to where my full time ministry all began, Shady Grove UMC ( The church has changed a lot since they first hired me way back in September of '97. When I arrive back in '97 we had one service with about 150 attendees. Now they have 3 services with close to 700 attending. The new pastor Lynn Upchurch is perfect for that church. He's passionate and genuine which are both qualities they needed in a pastor. I stayed on staff at the church until May of '03 when I stepped out to plant The Refinery. I started out as their Director of Christian Education then moved to Youth pastor and eventually Youth and College Pastor. My time at SGUMC was by far the most influential in who I am today as not only a minister but as a Christian, husband, father, friend, and man. I will never forget how supportive that church always was to me and Beth. I had to preach at all three services which was a stretch for someone like me that is use

David Crowder meet Jacob or "Rock On" - Michael Damian

Most 5 year olds heads are full of Backyardigans, Thomas the Train, Mickey Mouse, and other Disney and Noggin Channel favorites. But not my son. While he does enjoy a good dose of Dora and Diego, his main source of inspiration at this time comes from none other then David Crowder. It started a couple of months ago when he heard "Neverending" being played in the car. (Or as he and Maria call it, "the La,La,La song") Jacob's music request quickly went from "The Wheels on the bus" to "Neverending " and other Crowder tunes. Then I I received the new "Remedy" live cd in the mail complete with a full DVD of the Remedy show in NY it was over. Now you can find Jacob watching and air-guitaring along to Crowder every afternoon. He has even gotten to the point where he's drawing pictures of David Crowder and putting on pretend concerts where he makes Maria sing along with him to his renditions of "Everything Glorious", Never let

To many books not enough time or "Everyday I Write the Book" - Elvis Costello

I use to only be able to focus on one book at a time. I eventually built up to where I was able to read two at once. That was about the max my simple mind could handle. Then came this summer and the flood of books I wanted to read started to pile up. As the pile grew larger my appetite for reading wasn't being quenched. I'd start a book and would really enjoy it but for whatever reason it wouldn't satisfy my literature cravings. So now I'm left with a stack of unfinished books ranging from spiritual to historical to fiction. I've decided my goal is to finish all of my current stack before the end of the year (and not to take on any more new reading). I'm currently reading to following books: Vintage Jesus by Mark Driscol Tweleve Ordinary Men by John MacArthur Pearl Harbor by Allen Seiden Blink by Malcolm Gladwell Lincoln - A man of faith and courage by Joe Wheeler Running on Empty by Fil Anderson Dearly Devoted Dexter by Jeff Lindsay

Quotes for the week or "Say Say Say" - Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson

You are the way you are because that's the way you want to be. If you really wanted to be any different, you would be in the process of changing right now. - Fred Smith If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. -- - John Quincy Adams Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Goldberg vs McCain or "She Drives Me Crazy" - Fine Young Cannibals

John McCain for some unknown reason decided to attend The View today. That may have been worse then the 5 years he endured as a POW. In case you missed it, here is a segment in which Democratic poster child Whoopie Goldberg "challenges" Mccain on the constitution: John McCain should get a LOT of credit, since he resisted answering the way she SHOULD have been answered, as in: “Whoopie, in 30 years in politics, that might be the dumbest question I have ever been asked.”

Fantasy Sports Addiction or "Addicted To Love" - Robert Palmer

I have a serious addiction. One that's close to getting out of hand. I'm addicted to fantasy sports. It all started 14 years ago when my buddy Brian gave me my first taste of fantasy baseball. Now I'm ashamed to say that my addiction has reached a fever pitch. When I signed up for fantasy hockey this morning (yes,hockey?!?) my current fantasy league total stands at 18. That's 18 leagues I am in RIGHT NOW as we speak. They include baseball(4), football (college and pro - 8) , nascar(3), golf(1), hockey(1), and formula 1(1). Every season I tell myself that I'm going to cut some leagues out. And every year I add more and more leagues. The ironic thing is as my fantasy play has increased my overall sports viewing had decreased. I've been asked, "Why do I love fantasy sports so much?" It basically boils down to the fact that I hit all three characteristics of the perfect fantasy fan: 1) I'm a control freak. This allows me to have control over my team an

Joel Hunter at the DNC or "Land of Confusion" - Genesis

Not to keep the DNC prayer controversies rolling, but... On the closing night pastor Joel Hunter of Northland Church in Florida gave the closing benediction. I honestly didn't hear the prayer live or had ever heard of the guy before this controversy. At the end of his prayer he pauses and says, "Now, I interrupt this prayer for a closing instruction: because we are gathered in a country that continues to welcome people of all faiths, let us personalize this prayer by closing according to our own tradition. On the count of three, end your prayer as you would usually do…one, two, three __________ (“in Jesus name”) AMEN!" Here is the video of it: And here is are Joel's comments on his church blog to explain his prayer: Open Letter From Dr. Joel C. Hunter—Benediction Prayer There are several things to remember when praying in a public setting: 1. Prayer is not a speech with a hidden agenda; it is a direct request to God for help. Therefore, it demeans prayer to use it to

Sarah Palin speaks at her church or "Sara" - Starship

Below is a link a friend sent me of Sarah Palin speaking at her home church, Wasilla Assembly Of God.

"My" Goodbye

1) Goodbye Tom Brady 2) Goodbye "My" blog titles. After 300+ blog post I've decided the whole "My" titles have run their course. For the next 100 I've choosen 80's song for my new blog post titles.

My 8-bit World or Where Have You Gone Super Mario?

What happened to the good old days of Super Mario when the only goal was to rescue Princess Peach from the evil Bowser ? I don't recall the closing celebration featuring the lovely princess stripping down to her birthday suit to show her thankfulness to her hero Mario. Yesterday I was in Gamestop looking for a new game for my Wii. I'll be the first to admit I am the chronic eavesdropper. I blame it on my constant hunger for observing life around me. Anyway, I notice this 40ish couple come in and head straight to the used 360 games. As I was spying at what game they were hunting, the husband obviously had one in mind because it took him exactly.003 seconds to grab it. Since I didn't get a good look at what they were about to purchase my ears went up to hear what the sales clerk had to say about their purchase. (if you have ever bought a game at gamestop before you know you can't buy anything without a full on review of the game by the clerk) The first thing the clerk ask

His Story: Mike Yaconelli's "A Freedom Story"

I finished reading the new Mike Yaconelli book, "Getting fired for the glory of God" last week. It's a collection of articles he wrote before his death in 2003. The following has always been a favorite of mine and I was glad it was included in the book. A Freedom Story by Mike Yaconelli In his book, The Easy Yoke, Doug Webster retells a great Wil Willimon story about a young, idealistic college student who ended up in one of the worst-looking housing projects in Philadelphia. A brand-new Christian, this wide-eyed urban missionary didn’t have a clue how to evangelize in the middle of the city. Frightened and anxious to share his new faith, the young man approached a very large, intimidating tenement house. Cautiously making his way through the dark, cluttered hallways, he walked up a flight of stairs and heard a baby crying. The baby was inside one of the apartments. He knocked on the door and was met by a woman holding a naked baby. She was smoking, and she was not in the

My No. 300: Some Of My Favorite Quotes From Day 3 Of The RNC

"Our opponents say, again and again, that drilling will not solve all of America's energy problems -- as if we all didn't know that already. But the fact that drilling won't solve every problem is no excuse to do nothing at all." -- Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in speech to the convention. "I've learned quickly, these past few days, that if you're not a member in good standing of the Washington elite, then some in the media consider a candidate unqualified for that reason alone. But here's a little news flash for all those reporters and commentators: I'm not going to Washington to seek their good opinion - I'm going to Washington to serve the people of this country." -- Excerpt from Palin's speech. "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform - not eve

My Living Room

Have you ever been invited to someones house that you really didn't know? Maybe a co-worker, someone from church, or one of your kid's friends parents? What happens when the experience isn't exactly the what you hoped it would be. The meal that was prepared was less then edible. The decor was a bit dated. The conversation was lacking. Basically at the end of the night you couldn't wait to get out of that home. What do you do? Most people would just put on a happy face, thank the family for being such a welcoming host and opening their home to you, and drive away with thoughts of never returning. But what if you choose to do the opposite? What if you complained about the meal all through dinner? What if you pointed out each and every decorating flaw though-out the house? And what if you spent the entire night explaining to the host how much better their life could be if they would just makeover their home to look just like yours? I've heard the argument for a long ti

My New Must Read Blog (Part 2)

Yesterday during our Labor Day travels, Beth and I were discussing the "Stuff white people like" when two things happened: 1) Beth realized she really is white and 2) We begin thinking of all kinds of things Christians like. The list was long and a strange mix of funny & sad. Stuff like Corny Church Signs, Jesus Junk, WWJD bracelets, Left behind books, anything "Purpose Driven", and The Prayer of Jabez. Anyway I decided I would blog my own list of "Stuff Christians Like" when I ran across a guy who has beaten me to it. His blog can be found here: The newer post are a bit reaching but go back to the beginning and the "stuff" is exactly what Beth and I were thinking. The entire month of January 2008 is dead on!