My Office Quotes: Goodbye, Toby (Plus my thoughts on the Finale and Office Spin-off news)

After a subpar season of The Office (I'll blame the writers strike for that), last nights season four finale was not only the best Office finale yet but one of their best episodes ever. From the awkwardness, gut wrenching conversations and situations, to the many surprise twist and the multiple story lines being set up for season five, there is no way the writers could have pulled off any better of an episode. Well done!! 4 Stars!

Spin-Off News
NBC has confirmed that there will be an Office Spin-off show debuting next season. The current thought it is will begin after the Superbowl. Here is the NBC link

Now to the quotes...

Michael Scott: Today is Toby Flenderson's last day. I couldn't sleep last night. [cuts to clips of Michael dancing around the empty office] I came in extra early, so much energy. There's certain days that you know you will remember for the rest of your life. And I just have a feeling that today is one of those days.

Jim Halpert: [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight.
Pam Beesly: [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Yes it is.
Pam Beesly: Oh my goodness you sound sexy.
Jim Halpert: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight Schrute: Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Pam Beesly: [into phone] Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: No! [waving] I'm over here!
Pam Beesly: I'm confused.

Michael: You cheated on me? When I specifically told you not to?

Dwight: Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked.

Toby: Morning.
Michael: Mornin'. [to camera] So here we go, just a matter of hours now, until his horribleness has left the building. I'm going to set my watch alarm... And... [watch beeps]

Creed: [shaking Holly's hand] The pleasure's all mine.
Holly: Oh, thanks. I'm really looking forward to sitting down with you and finding out more about what you do here.
Creed: Any time.
Holly: What do you do here?
Creed: ...Excuse me.

Creed: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?' What do I do, I do here. I should have written it down. 'Qua' something. Quaaa. Quarr. Quab. Quall. Qwer. Quobbity! Quobbity assurance!

Michael Scott: I want an anti-gravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink the potion, and then you just start floating all around.
Pam Beesly: So how much anti-gravity potion do you want?

Pam Beesly: I wouldn't go if things weren't so solid with Jim. And down the road, we have a family I couldn't go then either. So the timing's perfect. [pause] And that is the first time I've ever used the word perfect in here.

Dwight Schrute: Have you been introduced to Kevin?
Holly: Which one's Kevin?
Dwight Schrute: He's here on a special work program. He's slow, you know, in his brain.
Holly: Oh. Good for you guys.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah.

Holly: [after being told Kevin was 'slow in the brain'] Hi!
Kevin: Hi.
Holly: What do you do?
Kevin: I do the numbers.
Holly: Oh, good for you!
Kevin: You want an M&M
Holly: Oh, no that is so sweet. Thank you though.
Kevin: I keep them here at my desk so that everybody doesn't take them.
Holly: Well that is a very safe place for them.
Kevin: [smiling] Yeah.

Phyllis: [over the speakerphone] Hi, are there any local companies that rent anti-gravity machines?
Woman: Anti-gravity machines?
Phyllis: That's right, yeah.
Woman: What do they do exactly?
Phyllis: They make you feel lighter.
Woman: [looking it up] Anti-gravity... um... anti-depressant? I could put you through to someone on that?
Phyllis: [pause] Okay.

Michael Scott: Question. Are you real, or are you a 'hollygram'?
Holly: Thanks I've never heard that one before actually, that's good.

Michael Scott: Well, you're not a romantic.
Jim Halpert: Actually I think I am. And, I have a little bit of experience in office romance.
Michael Scott: Oh really.
Jim Halpert: Yeah.
Michael Scott: With who?
Jim Halpert: We've been through this.
Michael Scott: Pam?
Jim Halpert: Yes. We are still dating. And guess what? I took it slow.
Michael Scott: Yeah you took it too slow.
Jim Halpert: Well we're really happy.

Michael Scott: Woah. What are you doing? You don't, uh... you don't have to do that. I mean we have already put together chairs. That's how we buy them actually.
Holly: I was trying to adjust the lumbar support on Toby's chair and that made this up-down lever not work and I took the whole chair apart and that is the story of me on the floor. Pretty good right? I'm gonna film movie rights.
Michael Scott: Sequel - Woman stands at desk and works.

Michael: I did it! [exhales]
Jim: What'd you do?
Michael: I talked to her-Holly. Just pleasantries, nothing, you know... not like, do you want kids or, religion, or what side of the bed do you want. Hey, I can take either side of the bed at this point.
Jim: Wow. Okay, so how'd that feel?
Michael: It was hard. I wanted to kiss her.
Jim: Oh, I'm so glad you didn't.
Michael: Whew, oh God. [inhales] Laying a base. Laying a base...
Jim: There you go. There's plenty of base-laying left, right?... Hey. Hey!
Michael: [giddy] Yeah...

Oscar: Well this is what happened. Uh, Ryan's big project was the website. Which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.

Holly: Cool! You drive your own car?
Kevin: Yup. This is my car. Do you drive your own car?
Holly: Yep. Just like you.
Kevin: Okay bye.
Holly: Bye... Kevin, I'm really proud of you.

Michael Scott: Hi, Jan. It's Michael. I just, um, I just want to let you know that I am going to go to your Lamaze class tomorrow. And if there's any details you need to fill me in on like, what exactly Lamaze is, that would be great. And I will see you tomorrow morning. I'm going to be... kind of a daddy.

Pam Beesly: Guess who just got into the Pratt school of Design.
Jim Halpert: No way. What did I say? I said that they'd love those sketches. [hugging Pam] Congratulations!
Pam Beesly: Oh thank you! I don't know what you doubted it because I'm so clearly awesome.
Jim Halpert: Yes. When do you start?
Pam Beesly: I don't know I didn't read it carefully. I just saw congratulations and I skimmed the list and I saw my name and I came in here to tell you and get a snack.

Holly: Man someone doesn't like HR.
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Holly: [to Toby] What did you do to him?
Toby: Nothing.
Michael Scott: No he tortured me. With his awfulness.
Holly: Yeah I know what you mean. I nearly feel asleep when he gave me a tour of the files. Um well look I'll let you get back to work but I really look forward to working with you Mr. Scott.
Michael Scott: [stammering] Y-you can call-- Michael.

Michael Scott: Thanks to Toby I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like ET. Is Holly our extra-terrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.

Michael Scott: You know, if we hung Holly from the ceiling, we'd have to kiss underneath her.

Michael Scott: I am downloading some N3P music--
Jim Halpert: [quickly] That's not it. Yep?
Michael Scott: --for a CD mix tape--
Jim Halpert: Of course.
Michael Scott: --for Holly. And I am looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.
Jim Halpert: What are the two levels?
Michael Scott: The two levels being, welcome to Scranton and I love you.

Jim Halpert: I was thinking... fireworks. For the party.
Phyllis: Oh boy. I appreciate your help but I can't do--
Jim Halpert: Oh no no I just meant I wanted to pay, to have fireworks at the party.
Phyllis: Why would you do that?
Jim Halpert: Because I am going to miss Toby. Yep. That's it. He's a good guy and I think we should send him out right.

Jim Halpert: I am going to propose tonight. Holy crap!

Phyllis: Hello Angela.
Angela: Phyllis, you look like you're going to have a heart attack.
Phyllis: Can I get a list of your vendors.
Angela: I shredded it.
Phyllis: Why did you do that?
Angela: Gosh I don't know, why do you think?
Phyllis: [knocks papers of Angela's desk] Sorry.

Michael Scott: Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for twelve years. And I am now his cruise director. And my name is Captain Bruisin'.

Pam Beesley: So what is your gift?
Michael Scott: My gift's forthcoming, Pam.
Pam Beesley: What is it?
Michael Scott: I am going to give Toby...
Pam Beesley: Your watch?
Michael Scott: Yes. I am. How would you know that?
Pam Beesley: I just knew.

Jim Halpert: Would you do me a favor and get my Ryan?
Pam Beesley: Absolutely. [hands Jim the phone]
Jim Halpert: Went to voicemail. Hey, Ryan. It's Jim. You know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail because you obviously have your hands tied. Good luck!

Michael Scott: Holly is sweet, and simple. Like a lady baker. I- would not be surprised to find out that she had worked in a bakery before coming here. She has that kind of warmth. [thinking] I'm pretty sure she's baked on a professional level.

Kevin: Cool! Bouncy house!
Phyllis: Kevin take your shoes off first!

Holly: It was a pretty good company but I just couldn't see a future there. They kept hiring from the outside. It was easy to get in but impossible to rise up.
Michael Scott: That's what she-- A lot of places are like that.
Holly: I think it's really good you hired Kevin.
Michael Scott: Thanks.

Michael Scott: Dwight, I want you to look at Holly right now. Everybody I want you to look at Holly right now. And maybe if you look at her deeply enough you will see what I see in her. And that is that we are all very lucky to have her here. Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II! Fifty years. She is the best!

Michael Scott: Don't move a muscle, I will be back momentarily. [laughing] Finish your drink and I'll be back.

Jan: It's not just any sperm bank I mean it's really-- this is a really, really great place. It's amazing actually. I'm gonna bring you the catalog. You should look through it, it's-- and in fact it's right next to that little breakfast place that you like in the city where you can draw on the tables.
Michael Scott: IHOP.
Jan: IHOP.

Jan: If I was 22 and I had lots of time.. to have lots of children, then sure let's let Michael have a shot at one of them but honestly I have to make this one count.

Michael Scott: I can see Andy proposing to Angela. I can also see him proposing to Oscar.

Michael Scott: Well this is it. I'm here to see you off.
[camera pans out showing Michael with the security guard]
Toby: Really, Michael?
Michael Scott: Sorry, corporate policy.
Toby: It's not.
Michael Scott: You can take something.
Security guard: I don't think he's gonna take anything.
Michael Scott: Ok, security guard.

Michael: First thing on the agenda-actually, the only thing on the agenda, is the status of Toby's going away party.
Angela: We have a buttercream cake and a slideshow of Toby.
Michael: Okay.
Angela: But so far we only have two pictures of him.
Michael: Okay, well, this will not do. Toby is going away forever, and uh, we need to do something very very special. In some cultures, when somebody leaves, like New Orleans culture, they have a parade and they have a band and people party in the streets...
Pam: Do you mean, leaves as in dies? You want us to throw Toby a New Orleans' funeral?
Michael: If the Devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?
Angela: Michael...
Michael: Like a beach blowout? Or a toga, toga-
Angela: No. You know-no!
Michael: Toga!
Angela: You always do this! We have a nice, modest party planned, and then you come in and demand the world. Let me be clear. There is simply no money for anything other than a cake and to develop a few more slides... although Toby won't be in them.
Michael: I thought that you might say that. [takes off his shoe; hums; takes out cash from shoe]

Michael: Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother sends me a check on my birthday for fifty dollars. And lately, she has been sending me, like nine or ten checks a year... uh, as Nana starts to... but, I knew I should be saving it for something, I just didn't know what I should be saving it for. And then I had an awakening. "Michael, buy a motorcycle." So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.

Michael: I want a party that makes me feel like I am flying through the air without this... ugly weight holding me down, you know?... I want an antigravity machine. I saw it in a movie. You drink a potion, and then you just start floating all around.
Pam: So how much antigravity potion do you want?
Angela: No! No! You know what? This is not a party-planning committee anymore! And I don't want your foot money, and I feel uncomfortable participating.
Michael: Phyllis, can you do this?
Phyllis: [whispers] Yes.

Michael Scott: What, uh, what is your commute like? How long does it take to get in? You know, I should make you a mix. Do you have a, uh, cd player?

Michael Scott: What's the group, that were from Scranton and made it big? Was that U2?
Jim Halpert: Yes.

Michael Scott: A lot of you know that I am an accomplished song writer.
Pam Beesley: Song parody writer.
Michael Scott: I have done things like, um, Beers In Heaven.
Jim Halpert: Classic.
Michael Scott: Or Total Eclipse of a Fart.

Andy: I've been carrying that ring around in my wallet for six years. Because you never know when you're going to meet the right girl and the moment's gonna be right. And tonight, with the fireworks and the music and everything. It was right.

Kelly: Can I be your bridesmaid?
Angela: No.


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