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George: I think I swallowed a fly! I swallowed a fly! What do I do? What can happen? Jerry: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says. George: Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say. George: I think you absolutely have to say something to this guy. Confront him. Elaine: Really? George: Yes. Elaine: Would you do that? George: If I was a different person. Elaine: Did you get a haircut? Jerry: Nope. Shower. Elaine: You're a little homophobic aren't ya? George: Is it that obvious? Jerry: I hate anybody who had a pony growing up. Manya: I had a pony! Jerry: Well, I didn't mean a pony per se… Manya: When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony. So, what's wrong with that? Jerry: Nothing. Nothing at all. I was just expressing… Helen: Should we have coffee? Who's having coffee? Manya: He was a beautiful pony. And I loved him! Jerry: Well, I'm sure you did. Who wouldn't love a pony? Who wouldn't l...

I was trying to look up a specific Seinfeld quote today and realized how limited those sites are. So I've decided to go through all nine seasons and give the world one of the most complete Seinfeld quote collections around. Enjoy. Season One Jerry: I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, okay? I… I… I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little… everything they do is subtle. Men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is. We want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far. The car-horn honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? ...

As I was finishing up my "Seinfeld" season 6 DVD's this past weekend, I thought about how many GREAT quotes have come from that show. So I've decided to compile a list of my favorites. This is just the beginning as I plan to add a new one to this list every couple of days. Enjoy! George Costanza : Why are you home? You're supposed to be out on your route, and getting my calzones for Steinbrenner. Newman : Well, I saw that it's raining outside, so I called in sick. I don't work in the rain. George Costanza : But... you're a mailman! 'Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow... ' It's the first one Newman : I've never been much for credos. Elaine : Hey, Kramer, listen, you've seen The Omen right? What exactly was that kid? Cosmo Kramer : Who, Damien? Nothing, just a mischievous, rambunctious kid. Jackie Chiles : [speaking at a rapid clip, about one sentence per second] You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell y...