My Life As I See It

"The Office" made it's triumphant return last night. I was a little worried the show wouldn't/couldn't live up to the high expectations I had placed on it but as always the writers put out yet another classic episode. Here a a few of my favorite moments...

Michael Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her.. life.. they did the best that they could.... and she is going to be OK.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?
Oscar: So she's really going to be fine?
Michael Scott: Yes, she has a slight pelvical fracture, but people have survived far worse.
Pam: Thank God you were there.
Michael Scott: I know.
Andy Bernard: Did you see who did it?
Dwight Schrute: No need. We can just check the security tapes.
Michael Scott: Kind of good news bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her.
Jim Halpert: Who was driving?
[Michael pauses and is speechless]
Pam: Oh Michael.

Michael Scott: My lord my leejze.
Ryan Howard: Yes Michael.
Michael Scott: So I need a little treat for the gang, something to win their affections back.
Ryan Howard: Back? Why is that Michael?
Michael Scott: Well, I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan Howard: Ohhhh, did you do this on purpose?
Michael Scott: No, I was being negligent, but she's in the hospital, she's fine, recovering nicely, tiny little crack in her pelvis, but she will be up in...
Ryan Howard: Did this happen on company property?
Michael Scott: Yes. It was on company property with company property. So, double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan Howard: I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael Scott: Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?
Ryan Howard: Hehhhhh.

Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know... I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me... that's the opposite of the point I'm trying to make.

Michael Scott: You know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness. Forgiveness is next to Godliness.

Michael Scott: Why I'm taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I'm not superstitious, but I am a little sitious. (My personal favorite)

Michael Scott: Is there a God? If not, what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus' dad?

I went to Petco tonight and saw the most disgusting things ever. The cashier had a live parrot on her shoulder. As she was checking people out they were all making a big deal about this bird. She said it was hers and the store let her bring it to work with her. I thought, ok, whatever. So when she checks me out she turns around and I see the bird has pooped all down her back. GROSS!!! It was hard and dried on so I knew it wasn't fresh.

Speaking of Petco, the following is an actual conversation I had with the guy helping me:
Me: Excuse me, do you have anymore of the small Chinese algae eaters you had advertised on sale?
Fish Guy: I don't think so, let me check. (he looks in the tank) Nope. Sure don't.
Me: Ok, well then let me have one of those. (I point to some other algae eaters not on sale)
FG: Sure thing. (he get's one out) Hey, you got a good deal, did you know these small Chinese algae eaters were on sale?
Me: What??
FG: Yeah, this week these small Chinese algae eaters are on sale.
It's like we never had the first part of our conversation.

My fantasy football teams are hurting this year. In my three leagues I'm a combined 3-5. Darn you Larry Johnson & Larry Fitzgerald.

I've been really excited to go see "Into the wild" but after 2 weeks of release it still hasn't made it's way to NC yet.

I reserved "Project Gotham Racing 4" for my 360 today. This will be my first real game I've purchased for it. I feel like such a game nerd. I traded in my Halo 2 to go toward my purchase. I figured since all my friends now have Halo 3 and I never really liked it in the first place then what was the use in keeping it.

The office environment at church now is probably one of the best I've ever worked in. Not because we work so well together and we get a lot done, but because it's such a strange mix (in a good way) of personalities and life philosophies. It has to be the most laid back, what-you-see-is-what-you-get church office in the whole town. I love it!

I'm a little bummed I didn't get my magnet collection entered into the fair this year. It was going to be "Magnets from around the world 2". I feel like such a magnet nerd.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My "Crazy Love" Small Group Discussion Questions

Image
I've had the opportunity to lead several small groups based of the Francis Chan book "Crazy Love". The discussion questions that come with the DVD study leaves a lot to be desired. So through my own personal questions and questions from other "Crazy Love" resources online I've been able to develope a more indepth study of the book. Below are the questions I have used for all 10 chapters of the book study. Feel free to use them as you'd like. Chapter 1: Stop Praying Stop and think about the last prayer you voiced. How did you begin? Our Father? Dear Lord? Jesus? What word or phrase did you use to start the prayer? Now, take a minute and consider the prayer you prayed before that prayer. How did you begin? Same word or phrase? Different? Sorta different or radically different? If you begin all your prayers in much the same way, ask yourself why. Read these words from G. K. Chesterton: A child kicks its legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, ...
Read more

Her Story: Does Satan really exist? Many United Methodists see evil as more subtle.

After spending much of my full time ministry life in the United Methodist Church, I found this article very interesting. It's written by Mary Jacobs and she nails the fact that most UMCers are scared to death to mention the "S" word (Satan) or the "D" word (Devil). Jesus stood up to him. Plenty of Christians talk about him. And some blame all sorts of evil on him. But likely you won’t hear his name tossed around much in a United Methodist Church. Could it be... Satan? “For the most part, you don’t hear mainline Protestants talking about Satan, the devil or the demonic,” said Jaime Clark-Soles, associate professor of New Testament at Perkins School of Theology. “I think we’ve handed that kind of language over to the fundamentalists.” Though Methodism founder John Wesley talked about Satan in his sermons, the United Methodist Church has no official doctrine on the devil or the demonic. Few Methodist ministers in the U.S., it seems, preach about Satan as a personal...
Read more

My Office Quotes: "Job Fair"

Michael Scott: Come here. [talking about Pam] I would never say this to her face, but she is a wonderful person and a gifted artist. Oscar: What? Why wouldn't you say that to her face? Pam Beesly: Michael. Do you remember you specifically told me to bring one sheet of paper. You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. I said, 'are you sure Michael?' And you said, 'Pam! Pam! Pam!' And then you sneezed in my tea and then you said, 'don't worry it's just allergies.' Do you remember that? Michael Scott: Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth. But, uhh, kids are very weary of being lured, these days. Thank you Dateline. Michael Scott: Yeah kiss her. Kiss her good. Andy: Short cut! Short cut! [goes flying out of a golf cart] I fell in the sand trap. Michael Scott: Today I am headed over to the job fair at Valleyview high school to find some new interns. Get some fresh blood. Um, euthanize this place. Andy: Hit about twelve...
Read more