I can only hope I'm as happily married as this guy when I'm 80

If I'm nothing else I know I'm at least an "awkward conversation" magnet. No matter where I am complete strangers have this uncanny knack for telling me way more very awkward information then I care to know. This past Sunday morning on my way to church was no exception. The following was told to me by a very grumpy 80+ year old man while standing in line at Food Lion while he was buying cigarettes...

Old man: "Everyday it seems I'm in here buying these @#$& cigarettes for my wife. She goes through a box in three days. That's $25 every three @#$& days! And If I get the wrong ones she yells at me to take them back and I tell her to take them back her own @#$& self!
Me: You don't say?
Old man: I guess I'd divorce her if I weren't so old.
Me: Yep
Old man: You know why I keep buying them for her?
Me: Nope
Old man: I keep buying them 'cause I'm hoping they'll hurry up and kill her.
Me: (speechless)


Joel Smith said…
Now Mike, the Christian thing to do would be invite him to a showing of Fireproof. All he needs is the "Love Dare." Kirk Cameron could change that dude's life. You'd increase your church's attendance if you'd show it on premises.

Just think, that guy could visit with you every Sunday.

In my opinion, that is the funniest encounter you've yet reported. That old man's a riot! Makes you wonder what his wife is like.

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