My No. 200 - The Office Preview / Review

Tonight on The Office:

INTO THE WOODS-SPECIAL GREEN WEEK EPISODE - After Ryan excludes Michael from a corporate wilderness retreat, Michael heads into the woods for his own survival adventure with nothing but the suit on his back. Back at work, Jim tries to revolutionize the office birthday party.

Highlights from last week:

Michael Scott: You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is part of what makes this branch extraordinary. The blusy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, the smile, those big watery red eyes. I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left.

Oscar: Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.

Michael Scott: Look, this is very hard for me but I am going to give you my best man. You may have Toby.
Karen: Toby's not a salesperson.
Michael Scott: You can train him! He's very, very smart and funny and charming... Lehhargh! You know, I can't do it. Toby is the worst. That- that was a bluff.

Ben: Everyone says Scranton branch is worse than Camden. Didn't everyone from Stamford quit like immediately?
Michael Scott: No I fired them. And you're next. [long pause] So whaddya say?
Ben: Seriously?

[Dwight throws Jim's cell phone out the window]
Jim Halpert: Are you kidding me!?
Dwight Schrute: No communication with the outside world, Jim!
Michael Scott: It had to be done.
Jim Halpert: Well, that kind of sucks. Because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it.
Dwight Schrute: That is too bad. Shoot.

Michael Scott: Alright. You're gonna miss the best prank ever.
Jim Halpert: Alright. [pause] Wait. What are you planning on doing?
Michael Scott: Do you really wanna know?
Jim Halpert: Oh God.

Michael Scott: Here's what we brought. We brought uniforms from the warehouse. I brought Silly String, Dwight brought gasoline and chunks of rubber to make stink bombs.
Dwight Schrute: Or real bombs.
Michael Scott: No, no. Not real bombs.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah come on it would be so badass.
Michael Scott: Mmm maybe. I dunno. I dunno. Would be badass.
Jim Halpert: No.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah! It will.
Jim Halpert: Absolutely we're not doing this.
Dwight Schrute: Come on I already filled the bottles with the gas, it's gonna be so badass!!
Jim Halpert: Are you kidding me? We've been driving around with this in the trunk the whole time?

Jim Halpert: So, the deal was, Dwight doesn't blow anything up and I wear a costume. And a mustache.

Michael Scott: Dwight are you peeing?
Dwight Schrute: I'm peeing in this empty can.
Jim Halpert: Oh my God.
Michael Scott: That is disgusting Dwight!
Dwight Schrute: You said we couldn't make any more stops and I really had to go!
[car swerves]
Dwight Schrute: Hey! You're making me spray!
Dwight Schrute: I think I cut my penis on the lid!

Michael Scott: You and I are going to sneak inside, pretend that we are warehouse workers and we will Silly String the bejesus out of the place.
Dwight Schrute: And if we have to defend ourselves, I will stab the security guard in the eye, with the jumbo chalk.
Jim Halpert: No! No you won't do that. Nope.
Dwight Schrute: Then I'll grind up the jumbo chalk and blow it in his eyes.
Jim Halpert: Dwight, nothing with the eyes. Please?
Dwight Schrute: Okay Jim.

Andy: [to Stanley] I'm gonna miss you man. You're like an uncle to me. Like a, kind, old Uncle Remus. I wanna stay in touch.

Dwight Schrute: The eyes, are the groin of the head.

Michael Scott: Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but, at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them. And if you much as harm a hair on Stanley's head, we will burn Utica to the ground.

Michael Scott: Wanted, middle-aged black man with sass. Big butt, bigger heart... I can't, do this.
Stanley: I wasn't really planning on leaving. All I wanted was a raise. How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? [laughing] Sometimes I say crazy things.

Michael Scott: Yeah. We all want money. But there is none in the budget. So. Tell me why you're really leaving.
Stanley: Money.
Michael Scott: Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that.

Karen: If you wanted to see me you could've just called me like an adult.
Jim Halpert: Oh no I didn't want to see you. Not that I'm not, happy to be seeing you, right now. I'm just saying, ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal. I'd say it was equal. So, good to see you.
Karen: [scoffs]
Jim Halpert: I mean it's just that, you know Pam and I are still dating so, and I just mean that things are going really well so I didn't want to see, you.
Karen: Oh things are going really well. Are they? They are? That's great that's so great. I wanna hear more about how happy you are, with Pam. Can you tell me more about that? Thank you so much for coming to Utica and breaking my copier and telling me how well things are going in your relationship, really. Thank you.
Jim Halpert: Ah. Alright. You are welcome. I'm going to go, because of, um... traffic.

Michael Scott: I'm going to cut right to the chase here. Do you like magic? Because I am a genie in a bottle and I am going to grant you three wishes. To move to Scranton, to have a great job, and to be my best friend.

Other Office News:
With the current writers strike, The Office only has two more episodes to show before they have to begin airing repeats. But...NBC is considering airing the original British episodes back to back with the American episodes that match.

On a final note: This is my 200th blog post.

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