Parenthood: Seven Principals for Empowering Parents, Grandparents, and Mentors
· Intro the videos
· Videos (Leave it to Beaver vs The Goldbergs)
· Intro to series
· Read: Phil 3:12-14
· Myths: good parents = good kids
· Good kids = good parents
· One style of parenting works (every kid is different)
· Love & limits are all kid needs. (over simplifies)
7 principals for empowering parents, grandparents, & mentors
1) Commitment to growth
· Successful people are good at failing.
· Growth comes through failing.
· Starts with reframing failure.
· Must risk losing in order to win.
· If you worry about losing you'll never win.
2) Know and appreciate child for who they are
· Learn your child’s temperament (personality, nature)
· Get their profile: some of your kids may match your temperament and some won't.
· Don't confuse personality differences for character flaws.
· What's their activity level?
· In your space kids vs slow to warm up kids. Loud vs quiet.
3) Making time and space
· Kids have an emotional bank account
· Build it up one deposit at a time.
· Never have more withdrawals than deposits.
· Look for little pockets of time to spend with your child doing what THEY like to do.
· 15-20 min 3x a week. Not family or tv time.
· Crawl into their world.
· Shoulder-to-shoulder is a very intentional time, let them follow you around, work with you.
· BIG? - Parenting blind spots? Where am I weak in parenting? Ask God, spouse, kids.
4) Balance rules and relationships
· Rules without a relationship leads to rebellion.
· Rules with a relationship leads to respect.
· Ex. Adult at WC
5) Finding the zone
· Balancing challenge and acceptance.
· Ex. Workout- don't under or over challenge your muscle you're working out. Breaks down, comes back, plus more.
· Works with kids- challenge them but not too much.
· Must be just beyond their reach.
· Ex. Andrea ski trip
6) Teach and model problem-solving.
· Give up yelling. When you yell your kids turn you off.
· Check your temper
· The angrier you get the stupider you get.
· Validate feelings, set limits on behavior.
· Teach them how to evaluate the effects.
· Don’t make every decision for them.
7) Model love, humility, repair
· In all your relationships
· How do your kids see you treat their mom/dad?
· How do they hear you talk about others?
· Do they ever hear you say, “I’m sorry” “I messed up”
· Do you ever apologize to them?